Lie #12: The Nasal Aspirator
It is 11:30 p.m. I have toilet paper stuffed up both of my nostrils. I’ve never been sexier.
Croup is the word around the house. LD has the croup, momma has the croup, daddy has the craps – erm, croup. Maybe the craps too. Sickness is plaguing my house and has been for the last ten days – it doesn’t look like its going anywhere soon.
It all started when I came back from a trip to see my folks and the little guy was congested. His newest form of affection is to lick all over your face – it’s what he imagines kisses are. Cut him a break – he’s not even a year old yet. Cue germs. Lots of germs.
I used to be a germaphobe… when I had time. Before I had a baby, me and my Germ-X were BFFs. Forrest and Jennay. Peas and Carrots. Laverne and Shirley. Germ-X was the one constant that I carried with me at all times. The thought of some creature coming at my face open-mouthed with snot pouring from its nose?? Unbelievable. Pre-kid this would have grossed me out beyond all belief, but now when LD decides to shower me with affection and his version of kisses, I just melt and coo and accept all the gross. But I digress.